எல்லோரையும் எதிர்த்தேன்
கடவுள் என் பக்கம் என்று,
பிறகுதான் தெறிந்தது
அவர் எல்லோர்பக்கமும்
என்று,
கடைசியில் தான் தெரிந்து
கொண்டேன்
அவர்தான் எல்லோரும்
என்று .
உத்தமன்
Sunday, 21 February 2010
Thursday, 18 February 2010
Nagulan's poem
நகுலன் நன்றி: 'ழ' இலக்கிய இதழ்
நான்
எனக்கு யாருமில்லை
நான்
கூட...
இவ்வளவு பெரிய
வீட்டில்
எனக்கு இடமில்லை
இவ்வளவு
பெரிய நகரத்தில்
அறிந்த முகம் ஏதுமில்லை
அறிந்த முகம் கூட
மேற் பூச்சுக் கலைய
அந்நியமாக
உருக்காட்டி
மறைகிறது
என்னுருவங்
கலைய
எவ்வளவு
காலம்
கடந்து செல்ல வேண்டும்
என்ற நினைவுவர
''சற்றே நகர்''
என்று ஒரு குரல் கூறும்.
Writer Nagulan, who is no more, worked as English professor in Kerala, Trivandrum, prolifically wrote stories,essays,poems, a genius who was not recognized to the extent he deserves.The above poem is one written by him.
நான்
எனக்கு யாருமில்லை
நான்
கூட...
இவ்வளவு பெரிய
வீட்டில்
எனக்கு இடமில்லை
இவ்வளவு
பெரிய நகரத்தில்
அறிந்த முகம் ஏதுமில்லை
அறிந்த முகம் கூட
மேற் பூச்சுக் கலைய
அந்நியமாக
உருக்காட்டி
மறைகிறது
என்னுருவங்
கலைய
எவ்வளவு
காலம்
கடந்து செல்ல வேண்டும்
என்ற நினைவுவர
''சற்றே நகர்''
என்று ஒரு குரல் கூறும்.
Writer Nagulan, who is no more, worked as English professor in Kerala, Trivandrum, prolifically wrote stories,essays,poems, a genius who was not recognized to the extent he deserves.The above poem is one written by him.
Sunday, 7 February 2010
Sudhir with ? / story
Sudhir could not believe ,whether a life would be like the stories we read or some rare movies we happen to see,while reading or seeing a movie like that we tend to think , not really so, all pure imagination with commercial bias.Does love come between a boy and girl just like that,after a few meetings as a friendly chat in working atmosphere or chance happening.Hmmmm..everything seems right happening at the correct time.
Once he went to meet a HR executive of a corporate house for a casual meeting to fix up a rendezvous to talk about the prospect of getting an assignment in either Singapore or Malaysia.He was asked to wait in the reception for a few minutes, meanwhile that HR, Ramesh came online to him on the mobile and said
'Excuse me Mr.Sudhir, in a few minutes , I 'd be in the reception "
'Okay' I said
A girl came to him and asked 'Mr.Sudhir?'
'Yah'
'Would u like to take any cold drink or hot coffee or tea?'
'It is ok if I get something cold'
'In a minute sir'
She vanished from there , next minute I was offered a cold drink in a beautiful glass.When I was half way through my drink,one lean guy came introducing himself 'Hi, I am Ramesh Mr.Sudhir, happy to meet you'
'It is my pleasure Mr.Ramesh'
'Shall we go for lunch , I already fixed a table in the nearby Restaurant'
'It's ok '
We went in his car and reached the cool dining hall ,light melody wafting through the hall from some hindi movie'
Both became so friendly immediately , since we already introduced ourselves through telephonic conversation, we ordered for an Executive lunch, and continued talking.Welcome drink came which we waved our hands implying a 'no' to the bearer.
Ramesh asked me why I needed to change the company besides why to Singapore in particular, for I said ,'Ramesh I have a brother who is in the final year of Engineering and his wish is to continue Robotics, for I think Singapore is nearby ,and if possible at least in one year he would finish and be back to India happily.'
'ok,ok I understand Sudhir'
'Placement is not a problem for you and assignment in singapore can be managed, when you will be able to join, I mean when you can get relieved from the present company?'
'In 40 days I will be free'
'Oh ! fine ,then I will process your papers and what time would be convenient for you to attend the telephonic interview of our technical side '
'Between 6 and 8 evening, is it ok for your technical manager?'
'oh yes , I can explain , and he is nice man , besides friendly in a way apart from professional level'
'Thank you Ramesh'
Then after finishing the lunch we came out and he brought me back to his office, and in the portico itself I said ,bye bye and walked towards my car.
For the proposition of sending my brother for specialization in Sing my dad said he would take care and I know he could ,but I felt it is my duty doing for my brother.My brother said ,no ,he would take care of himself since his placement is over in the campus and he is leaving for U.S , he is one among the brightest in the college and he is more a scientist than a student even right now.
My friends though appreciate my tendency of helping not only my close guys but also those who are in distress, am called my friends as a swamiji in branded pants and shirts.I dont know why.May be so, because I dont smoke,drink and am uncomfortable in malls where milling crowds come if not for anything else , just for killing time.My mindset is , why people do something which suits their mind and body rather than go out and look around.Oh.......... I am sounding different from the youths of today.Sorry, dont want you to get glued on such thoughts.
I for one feel, people of my age group not necessarily need to read or go to any swamijis and their ashrams to feel free and elated, even in their own homes or any place where they feel comfortable,for may be a even a restaurant with full of noise, variations of voices one can observe oneself standing away as if looking a third person and I believe you sorta delving into a zone of peace..........p e a c e.
The process of understanding starts when I dissolve my own preconceived mind about my position, my studies, my knowledge [not mechanical knowledge of doing my job with awakened intelligence] my ideas if any about religion etc., ....then slowly of course slowly I am able to grip the one which is silently watching me,that may be God, a form , a sentence , or that or this without nomenclature.
well let me come to the practical world of earning for living , I mean to have the minimum needs.
I attended the technical round and the HR round of formalities and HR said I could prepare myself for the offer letter with the time duration required for joining as I wished.
Switching off the mobile I started walking from my office after taking a tea in my office , leaving the car behind in the parking lot, during my such walking with alertness ........ I mean my mind's alertness is extraordinary which is what said to me by many an elder of my father's age and once a swamiji blessed me while travelling in a train from Hyderabad to chenni.
Swami's origin somewhere in one north indian state and on my child like questioning,swami said he was a professor with different name somewhere and now swamiji without any air of sort in talking.
When I offered plantain out of respect he took one and said Ram..Ram and thanked me for the offering.I was so surprised the manners he maintained and the diction.Just like a boy I asked as if pestering where did the swami study...........'studies I mean formal studies in India and U.K.'
'Swami , may I know where now swami is going?'
'Madras '
'Any temples?'
'Hmmmmmmm I dont know' he smiled and said 'just a command from within'
'If I am not disturbing you , may I ask a question?'
'yes son'
'Am I going in the right direction?'
'Ha ha ha ha' he laughed with a kind of reverberation .
'Son , please understand here no one says what you do is right or wrong'
'then how do we know.......'
'Only you and you only have to find.... seek, if there is any guru or who claims he is a guru, if he is sincere he may be guide post not one who could make you understand what is 'that' .....'
' What shall I do .......meditation,breathing exercises or any ?'
'Techniques can not take you any where.......besides no one is an authoriy.......if one becomes an authority ,he need not live in the mortal coil........ not needed neither wanted '
'I think I understand '
'You will understand son... don't worry'
In between at one stop suddenly Swamiji got down from the train telling me , '
"God bless you my son'
Swami you said you are going to Madras
'yes son , on my way "
I sat stupefied ruminating the conversation I had with swamiji.He got down and walked fast as if trying to get a running train.Mystery........
I am standing in the Airport to see off my brother to U.S and he hugged me first time after we became men and shook hands with me saying 'Anna, dont go to Singapore, be here with Appa and Amma, I will be back in two years and then we decide.'My dad though always composed ,his face showed his feelings , he could not see his son for two years, and my mom could not stop the tear drops , although a few, and turned her face , not to make her younger son feel the emotions.He maintained his cool although turning his back and walked I could feel he must have been trying with his hand kerchief as if mopping his face.I prayed for his successful studies and courage to pursue his mission.
My brain started "thathvanchas thathvagas theevras thabo roobas thaboh mayaha,thriyayeemayas thirikaalanchas thrimoorthis thrikunathmaha"
Silence encompassed us while coming home in the car, father being a sort of renunciate now , did not want to continue the silence hence broke the silence , and asked me 'sudhir, what are your plans? when you plan to go abroad?'
I said 'No dad, not now after two years'
but why?
I think two more years I will be here , right now I think I am comfortable here.
'ok son as you wish'
Next day morning I called the land line and asked 'Ramesh?'
'No sir, I am Kanchana , his colleague , may I know who is online?'
'oh, I am Sudhir, a friend of Mr.Ramesh, would like to talk to him, so fixing up an appointment with him I called'
'I note down your inquiry sir, I will let you know when he back from his meeting.'
'Thank you Kanchana'
'Welcome Sudhir'
After an hour Ramesh came online to my mobile and I informed the change of plan since my brother already left for U.S and he knew why I wanted to go abroad.Ramesh understood the situation and gave me alternative,if willing , I could join here itself with better salary , and although I am not a type driven by money almost always , something in me said okay to the proposition and we agreed we could discuss the time frame for the transition .
Now everyone left for the lunch to the food court , I remained silent sitting,felt no hungry , may be fulfillment of having the feeling my younger one pursued with an arrangement with the company in U.S to study and do the project.My brother is a tireless worker and energetic always.He sits silent every morning around an hour in his bed in upright position before touching the daily news paper.I heard he is visiting one Lord Anjaneya temple every Tuesday evening .
In a leisurely pace I put down my papers in my company and joined the new company and during induction I went 15 minutes before the starting time to the meeting venue and no one was there .I picked up my folder where I kept a copy of The Times of India and started reading 'India's Democratic Princes' by none other than Chetan Bhagath and subsequently flip flopping the paper,before 5 minutes of the meeting time everyone came , our technical expert with HR and the lady who on the day of my arrival first time in this company came out and asked me whether I needed anything to drink.........name? ...may be some letter starting with K.
Everything seems find with office ,doing only what I already know and out of my experience nothing seemed difficult .Once a call came from an unknown placement agency asking whether interested to take up assignment in writing covering the Corporate governance , leadership style of present day management especially Marketing side of companies.Later came to know ,probably the referance taken from my blogging site and the interest shown in that particular area.I replied, I would keep in mind since right now I could not take up full time assignment .
One among the four of our team is Kanchana , who I came to know very intelligent not only the work we involved but other areas like literature , fiction, a bit of philosophy and spiritualism.Well without any inhibition she is an ideal suitable girl for any aspiring bridegroom.May be some one must be lucky already waiting for her.
During such interacting while we take lunch she was asking about my parents and family and I about her and family both mutual interaction not anything inquisitive bordering on tresspassing in to the personal domain.
She said after one month her parents had found a suitable boy for her a plastic surgeon , but in U.K in a hospital working as a specialist.Hmm something cracking inside I could feel, but came to my normal thinking this is natural for any boy of marriageable age.Lucky that doc is in U.K.
She had shown me snap of the Doc, he is good looking , handsome,bright eyes .She said his parents settled in U.K , so even schooling was done there , studied Medicine in U.K and specialization in Harvard .
I said 'lucky you are'
'Don't know'
'Well best wishes Kanchana , you would be good wife and can get a job there for the position he is in '
'That is what he says'
'So when marriage is to be held and where?'
'In chennai only'
After marriage she resigned and left abroad, months rolled by , meanwhile parents one day showed me a photo of a bride but something in my mind prompted me to say not now a few years more and Dad kept mum slightly shaking his head.Does my Dad know mind reading? I dont know.But onething I know he is cut above normal intelligent man something special ....... is it intuition or spiritual, I dont know.
I was asked to meet one Japan's vice president of the company , whom they said knew English and even studied in U.S.So I left for Delhi by flight and met him as arranged with all my papers and information in my laptop for his branch in U.S.A. We concluded the meeting within specific time with all the informations exchanged in a brief time.He was happy and requested me whether I could accompany him to Benaras , for I called the company and I was okayed anything asked for . Next day we were in Benaras,before which I explained about the crowd,hygiene and the tolerance needed to see poverty as an observer.He said his grandfather was a staunch Budhist and he visited in his life time to India and about various places he wrote down and partly he was a lover of Indian land and its philosophy and vedas.During our journey he talked about Ramayana and Mahabharatha and the mental agony of Bhishmacharya , one who was the rightest man at the wrong place owing to his fate.
While describing the Bhishmacharya, I could sense a part of Bhishma talking through him, strange indeed listening this from a Japanese Engineer and the experience of listening.]
He asked me which character I liked for I described Shunahshepa, son of Sage Vishwamitra , who against the wishes of father , requested the Sage ,he wanted to learn Mantras and vedic knowledge,at his sacred feet; who although born to Vishwamithra did not know the truth and Vishwamithra came to know of it through Ajigarta ,who brought up Shunahshepa.So three days went by happily with a like minded Japanese.
Once after dinner my parents and I were just talking about various things happening around which is one of the routines when we three sat either before or after dinner.
'Sudhir, why you delay your marriage?'
''No appa,just not my mind says so'
My father is not a yakking type on one subject to the extent of pestering.So ended the talk just like that.
After a few days again the sub of my marriage was broached by my dad and even I could feel a sort of pain in my dad's tone, I decided to reply saying someone like my prospect came my way pa, but before .... came with her wedding invitation , so put it aside, I dont know pa , may be twist and turn in my life goes on its own ; I am not allowed to decide.
'Hmmmm said my father.'but how did you know that you could propose?'
'Well don't know , may be my nature thinking so many times in order not to offend or rub on the wrong side made my decisions in such matters slow, so hmm..happened like this.'
'So you have a formula of approaching anything in human relationships and live with that formula'
'hmm, may be'
'son,I don't know if you ever question why you always live at the conceptual level,whereas actuality is entirely different.You could have proposed and accepted the yes or no as an answer and pass on , living your life without much disturbance in the mind. do you get me my son?'
'Yes pa'
'we all lived in a general category, and I think you are something different or special.I dont think I need to advice you, you almost know what is life,loneliness from aloneness .How to cope up with the situation like that.But as a father , I have my what to say ..... what I feel as a normal father despite my education, not bookish , my thinking pattern etc to you.'
'Let the force decide the way you think'
'Ok Appa'
'Do you feel anything wrong the way I talked to you?'
'NO Appa'
Once he went to meet a HR executive of a corporate house for a casual meeting to fix up a rendezvous to talk about the prospect of getting an assignment in either Singapore or Malaysia.He was asked to wait in the reception for a few minutes, meanwhile that HR, Ramesh came online to him on the mobile and said
'Excuse me Mr.Sudhir, in a few minutes , I 'd be in the reception "
'Okay' I said
A girl came to him and asked 'Mr.Sudhir?'
'Yah'
'Would u like to take any cold drink or hot coffee or tea?'
'It is ok if I get something cold'
'In a minute sir'
She vanished from there , next minute I was offered a cold drink in a beautiful glass.When I was half way through my drink,one lean guy came introducing himself 'Hi, I am Ramesh Mr.Sudhir, happy to meet you'
'It is my pleasure Mr.Ramesh'
'Shall we go for lunch , I already fixed a table in the nearby Restaurant'
'It's ok '
We went in his car and reached the cool dining hall ,light melody wafting through the hall from some hindi movie'
Both became so friendly immediately , since we already introduced ourselves through telephonic conversation, we ordered for an Executive lunch, and continued talking.Welcome drink came which we waved our hands implying a 'no' to the bearer.
Ramesh asked me why I needed to change the company besides why to Singapore in particular, for I said ,'Ramesh I have a brother who is in the final year of Engineering and his wish is to continue Robotics, for I think Singapore is nearby ,and if possible at least in one year he would finish and be back to India happily.'
'ok,ok I understand Sudhir'
'Placement is not a problem for you and assignment in singapore can be managed, when you will be able to join, I mean when you can get relieved from the present company?'
'In 40 days I will be free'
'Oh ! fine ,then I will process your papers and what time would be convenient for you to attend the telephonic interview of our technical side '
'Between 6 and 8 evening, is it ok for your technical manager?'
'oh yes , I can explain , and he is nice man , besides friendly in a way apart from professional level'
'Thank you Ramesh'
Then after finishing the lunch we came out and he brought me back to his office, and in the portico itself I said ,bye bye and walked towards my car.
For the proposition of sending my brother for specialization in Sing my dad said he would take care and I know he could ,but I felt it is my duty doing for my brother.My brother said ,no ,he would take care of himself since his placement is over in the campus and he is leaving for U.S , he is one among the brightest in the college and he is more a scientist than a student even right now.
My friends though appreciate my tendency of helping not only my close guys but also those who are in distress, am called my friends as a swamiji in branded pants and shirts.I dont know why.May be so, because I dont smoke,drink and am uncomfortable in malls where milling crowds come if not for anything else , just for killing time.My mindset is , why people do something which suits their mind and body rather than go out and look around.Oh.......... I am sounding different from the youths of today.Sorry, dont want you to get glued on such thoughts.
I for one feel, people of my age group not necessarily need to read or go to any swamijis and their ashrams to feel free and elated, even in their own homes or any place where they feel comfortable,for may be a even a restaurant with full of noise, variations of voices one can observe oneself standing away as if looking a third person and I believe you sorta delving into a zone of peace..........p e a c e.
The process of understanding starts when I dissolve my own preconceived mind about my position, my studies, my knowledge [not mechanical knowledge of doing my job with awakened intelligence] my ideas if any about religion etc., ....then slowly of course slowly I am able to grip the one which is silently watching me,that may be God, a form , a sentence , or that or this without nomenclature.
well let me come to the practical world of earning for living , I mean to have the minimum needs.
I attended the technical round and the HR round of formalities and HR said I could prepare myself for the offer letter with the time duration required for joining as I wished.
Switching off the mobile I started walking from my office after taking a tea in my office , leaving the car behind in the parking lot, during my such walking with alertness ........ I mean my mind's alertness is extraordinary which is what said to me by many an elder of my father's age and once a swamiji blessed me while travelling in a train from Hyderabad to chenni.
Swami's origin somewhere in one north indian state and on my child like questioning,swami said he was a professor with different name somewhere and now swamiji without any air of sort in talking.
When I offered plantain out of respect he took one and said Ram..Ram and thanked me for the offering.I was so surprised the manners he maintained and the diction.Just like a boy I asked as if pestering where did the swami study...........'studies I mean formal studies in India and U.K.'
'Swami , may I know where now swami is going?'
'Madras '
'Any temples?'
'Hmmmmmmm I dont know' he smiled and said 'just a command from within'
'If I am not disturbing you , may I ask a question?'
'yes son'
'Am I going in the right direction?'
'Ha ha ha ha' he laughed with a kind of reverberation .
'Son , please understand here no one says what you do is right or wrong'
'then how do we know.......'
'Only you and you only have to find.... seek, if there is any guru or who claims he is a guru, if he is sincere he may be guide post not one who could make you understand what is 'that' .....'
' What shall I do .......meditation,breathing exercises or any ?'
'Techniques can not take you any where.......besides no one is an authoriy.......if one becomes an authority ,he need not live in the mortal coil........ not needed neither wanted '
'I think I understand '
'You will understand son... don't worry'
In between at one stop suddenly Swamiji got down from the train telling me , '
"God bless you my son'
Swami you said you are going to Madras
'yes son , on my way "
I sat stupefied ruminating the conversation I had with swamiji.He got down and walked fast as if trying to get a running train.Mystery........
I am standing in the Airport to see off my brother to U.S and he hugged me first time after we became men and shook hands with me saying 'Anna, dont go to Singapore, be here with Appa and Amma, I will be back in two years and then we decide.'My dad though always composed ,his face showed his feelings , he could not see his son for two years, and my mom could not stop the tear drops , although a few, and turned her face , not to make her younger son feel the emotions.He maintained his cool although turning his back and walked I could feel he must have been trying with his hand kerchief as if mopping his face.I prayed for his successful studies and courage to pursue his mission.
My brain started "thathvanchas thathvagas theevras thabo roobas thaboh mayaha,thriyayeemayas thirikaalanchas thrimoorthis thrikunathmaha"
Silence encompassed us while coming home in the car, father being a sort of renunciate now , did not want to continue the silence hence broke the silence , and asked me 'sudhir, what are your plans? when you plan to go abroad?'
I said 'No dad, not now after two years'
but why?
I think two more years I will be here , right now I think I am comfortable here.
'ok son as you wish'
Next day morning I called the land line and asked 'Ramesh?'
'No sir, I am Kanchana , his colleague , may I know who is online?'
'oh, I am Sudhir, a friend of Mr.Ramesh, would like to talk to him, so fixing up an appointment with him I called'
'I note down your inquiry sir, I will let you know when he back from his meeting.'
'Thank you Kanchana'
'Welcome Sudhir'
After an hour Ramesh came online to my mobile and I informed the change of plan since my brother already left for U.S and he knew why I wanted to go abroad.Ramesh understood the situation and gave me alternative,if willing , I could join here itself with better salary , and although I am not a type driven by money almost always , something in me said okay to the proposition and we agreed we could discuss the time frame for the transition .
Now everyone left for the lunch to the food court , I remained silent sitting,felt no hungry , may be fulfillment of having the feeling my younger one pursued with an arrangement with the company in U.S to study and do the project.My brother is a tireless worker and energetic always.He sits silent every morning around an hour in his bed in upright position before touching the daily news paper.I heard he is visiting one Lord Anjaneya temple every Tuesday evening .
In a leisurely pace I put down my papers in my company and joined the new company and during induction I went 15 minutes before the starting time to the meeting venue and no one was there .I picked up my folder where I kept a copy of The Times of India and started reading 'India's Democratic Princes' by none other than Chetan Bhagath and subsequently flip flopping the paper,before 5 minutes of the meeting time everyone came , our technical expert with HR and the lady who on the day of my arrival first time in this company came out and asked me whether I needed anything to drink.........name? ...may be some letter starting with K.
Everything seems find with office ,doing only what I already know and out of my experience nothing seemed difficult .Once a call came from an unknown placement agency asking whether interested to take up assignment in writing covering the Corporate governance , leadership style of present day management especially Marketing side of companies.Later came to know ,probably the referance taken from my blogging site and the interest shown in that particular area.I replied, I would keep in mind since right now I could not take up full time assignment .
One among the four of our team is Kanchana , who I came to know very intelligent not only the work we involved but other areas like literature , fiction, a bit of philosophy and spiritualism.Well without any inhibition she is an ideal suitable girl for any aspiring bridegroom.May be some one must be lucky already waiting for her.
During such interacting while we take lunch she was asking about my parents and family and I about her and family both mutual interaction not anything inquisitive bordering on tresspassing in to the personal domain.
She said after one month her parents had found a suitable boy for her a plastic surgeon , but in U.K in a hospital working as a specialist.Hmm something cracking inside I could feel, but came to my normal thinking this is natural for any boy of marriageable age.Lucky that doc is in U.K.
She had shown me snap of the Doc, he is good looking , handsome,bright eyes .She said his parents settled in U.K , so even schooling was done there , studied Medicine in U.K and specialization in Harvard .
I said 'lucky you are'
'Don't know'
'Well best wishes Kanchana , you would be good wife and can get a job there for the position he is in '
'That is what he says'
'So when marriage is to be held and where?'
'In chennai only'
After marriage she resigned and left abroad, months rolled by , meanwhile parents one day showed me a photo of a bride but something in my mind prompted me to say not now a few years more and Dad kept mum slightly shaking his head.Does my Dad know mind reading? I dont know.But onething I know he is cut above normal intelligent man something special ....... is it intuition or spiritual, I dont know.
I was asked to meet one Japan's vice president of the company , whom they said knew English and even studied in U.S.So I left for Delhi by flight and met him as arranged with all my papers and information in my laptop for his branch in U.S.A. We concluded the meeting within specific time with all the informations exchanged in a brief time.He was happy and requested me whether I could accompany him to Benaras , for I called the company and I was okayed anything asked for . Next day we were in Benaras,before which I explained about the crowd,hygiene and the tolerance needed to see poverty as an observer.He said his grandfather was a staunch Budhist and he visited in his life time to India and about various places he wrote down and partly he was a lover of Indian land and its philosophy and vedas.During our journey he talked about Ramayana and Mahabharatha and the mental agony of Bhishmacharya , one who was the rightest man at the wrong place owing to his fate.
While describing the Bhishmacharya, I could sense a part of Bhishma talking through him, strange indeed listening this from a Japanese Engineer and the experience of listening.]
He asked me which character I liked for I described Shunahshepa, son of Sage Vishwamitra , who against the wishes of father , requested the Sage ,he wanted to learn Mantras and vedic knowledge,at his sacred feet; who although born to Vishwamithra did not know the truth and Vishwamithra came to know of it through Ajigarta ,who brought up Shunahshepa.So three days went by happily with a like minded Japanese.
Once after dinner my parents and I were just talking about various things happening around which is one of the routines when we three sat either before or after dinner.
'Sudhir, why you delay your marriage?'
''No appa,just not my mind says so'
My father is not a yakking type on one subject to the extent of pestering.So ended the talk just like that.
After a few days again the sub of my marriage was broached by my dad and even I could feel a sort of pain in my dad's tone, I decided to reply saying someone like my prospect came my way pa, but before .... came with her wedding invitation , so put it aside, I dont know pa , may be twist and turn in my life goes on its own ; I am not allowed to decide.
'Hmmmm said my father.'but how did you know that you could propose?'
'Well don't know , may be my nature thinking so many times in order not to offend or rub on the wrong side made my decisions in such matters slow, so hmm..happened like this.'
'So you have a formula of approaching anything in human relationships and live with that formula'
'hmm, may be'
'son,I don't know if you ever question why you always live at the conceptual level,whereas actuality is entirely different.You could have proposed and accepted the yes or no as an answer and pass on , living your life without much disturbance in the mind. do you get me my son?'
'Yes pa'
'we all lived in a general category, and I think you are something different or special.I dont think I need to advice you, you almost know what is life,loneliness from aloneness .How to cope up with the situation like that.But as a father , I have my what to say ..... what I feel as a normal father despite my education, not bookish , my thinking pattern etc to you.'
'Let the force decide the way you think'
'Ok Appa'
'Do you feel anything wrong the way I talked to you?'
'NO Appa'
Wednesday, 27 January 2010
A poem I liked since boyhood
William Wordsworth. 1770–1850
. The Solitary Reaper
BEHOLD her, single in the field,
Yon solitary Highland Lass!
Reaping and singing by herself;
Stop here, or gently pass!
Alone she cuts and binds the grain, 5
And sings a melancholy strain;
O listen! for the Vale profound
Is overflowing with the sound.
No Nightingale did ever chaunt
More welcome notes to weary bands 10
Of travellers in some shady haunt,
Among Arabian sands:
A voice so thrilling ne'er was heard
In spring-time from the Cuckoo-bird,
Breaking the silence of the seas 15
Among the farthest Hebrides.
Will no one tell me what she sings?—
Perhaps the plaintive numbers flow
For old, unhappy, far-off things,
And battles long ago: 20
Or is it some more humble lay,
Familiar matter of to-day?
Some natural sorrow, loss, or pain,
That has been, and may be again?
Whate'er the theme, the Maiden sang 25
As if her song could have no ending;
I saw her singing at her work,
And o'er the sickle bending;—
I listen'd, motionless and still;
And, as I mounted up the hill, 30
The music in my heart I bore,
Long after it was heard no more.
This poem of Wordsworth has been reminding me whenever I think of poetry ever since I first learned in my Hight school days.This solitary reaper symbolizes section of people who work tirelessly despite the fact they cant raise up from the standard they were born , but effortlessly fight against all odds.And also this people never wait for anyone to entertain them to escape from the reality and like the solitary reaper sings herself ,many speak themselves to get away from the depression which is normal to fall into .Life goes on with its kaleidoscopic illusions and many go along with it thinking the illusion is real.
We pass on as we are tied down with our worldly duties feeling remorse also for not being able to do anything towards the amelioration of their standard. Some get angry with those who make money unscrupulously and being uncharitable also with thus accumulated money, though we know human life is limited and we like ants think we are big and do all the things by our own smartness and intelligence. Ha ha ha haaaaaaaaaaa.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Can we control our destiny is a constant question debated by Philosophers and authors of self-development books.Authors talk this at one level of understanding and those who have understood and Saints from other level which is not comprehensible to those authors with limited vision and commercial bias.
. The Solitary Reaper
BEHOLD her, single in the field,
Yon solitary Highland Lass!
Reaping and singing by herself;
Stop here, or gently pass!
Alone she cuts and binds the grain, 5
And sings a melancholy strain;
O listen! for the Vale profound
Is overflowing with the sound.
No Nightingale did ever chaunt
More welcome notes to weary bands 10
Of travellers in some shady haunt,
Among Arabian sands:
A voice so thrilling ne'er was heard
In spring-time from the Cuckoo-bird,
Breaking the silence of the seas 15
Among the farthest Hebrides.
Will no one tell me what she sings?—
Perhaps the plaintive numbers flow
For old, unhappy, far-off things,
And battles long ago: 20
Or is it some more humble lay,
Familiar matter of to-day?
Some natural sorrow, loss, or pain,
That has been, and may be again?
Whate'er the theme, the Maiden sang 25
As if her song could have no ending;
I saw her singing at her work,
And o'er the sickle bending;—
I listen'd, motionless and still;
And, as I mounted up the hill, 30
The music in my heart I bore,
Long after it was heard no more.
This poem of Wordsworth has been reminding me whenever I think of poetry ever since I first learned in my Hight school days.This solitary reaper symbolizes section of people who work tirelessly despite the fact they cant raise up from the standard they were born , but effortlessly fight against all odds.And also this people never wait for anyone to entertain them to escape from the reality and like the solitary reaper sings herself ,many speak themselves to get away from the depression which is normal to fall into .Life goes on with its kaleidoscopic illusions and many go along with it thinking the illusion is real.
We pass on as we are tied down with our worldly duties feeling remorse also for not being able to do anything towards the amelioration of their standard. Some get angry with those who make money unscrupulously and being uncharitable also with thus accumulated money, though we know human life is limited and we like ants think we are big and do all the things by our own smartness and intelligence. Ha ha ha haaaaaaaaaaa.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Can we control our destiny is a constant question debated by Philosophers and authors of self-development books.Authors talk this at one level of understanding and those who have understood and Saints from other level which is not comprehensible to those authors with limited vision and commercial bias.
Wednesday, 20 January 2010
Free schemes of Tamil Nadu
In the local News Paper in Tamil, Dhinamalar, today a news has been reported about the MInister's statement telling at the venue of free dhothi and sarries distribution that people come in cars to avail the free schemes of Chief Minister and it seems as if the statement made is sarcastic hitting the sensitivities of the middle class.
The Ministers may be advised to talk with more caution when they make talks in the public.Even free TVs were collected by the middle class who came to receive using their cars.Besides CM did not show any discrimination in distributing the TVs and being distributed to all the sections of society. May be giving the free TVs to one all is another debatable matter, this local Minister can be restrained to comment on the public who come to receive the same in cars.And one thing is discernible, rather the Minister himself is not for giving something free to one and for all.
I have noticed for the Kalaignar Insurance scheme, so many people came in cars to get the card of Insurance.Well,Govt should certainly think and reconsider whether the upper-middle and rich class need such schemes.
On the other hand Coimbatore corporation is trying to raise the drinking water tax and the deposit for the water tap connection , which if diligently calculated , the poor class and lower middle class are going to pay through the nose.The poor class who live in the low - rented houses , where may be only one connection being used for many families, the rent will be increased by the house owner , so directly all the so-called poor and lower middle class is going to be penalized for no fault of theirs.
Once even Corporation was attempting to collect money for collecting the wastes everyday from the houses thereby wanting to make 30 rupees per month, in addition to collecting house tax etc.
Milk price has been already raised- reason given when everything goes up , milk producers want due rates for the produce. Well, right .
Can we say the poor class children will have the required milk everyday, only option for the lower middle and poor class is reduce the consumption , which is the order of the day in every household for anything and everything.
How badly the lower class is hit by the insensitive schemes may not be addressed by the media, since the poor class is not their target audience.
The graphic detail of the poor class is hit by the spiraling prices of vegetables and the eating habits is comprehensible if you are able to watch the health and growth of the children attending the Municipal, corporation and Panchayath schools.Spend sometime in front of these schools and see the pathetic conditions of these children and the school's convenience inside the buildings.
Long term goal is not distributing free tvs,rice,dhitis, sarries, insurance schemes. What we need to concentrate in case we really are interested in the future generation is improving the schools with facilities, increase or fill up the vacancies of teachers, ameliorating the infrastructure of the Govt Hospitals with medicines,spending money on the drinking water supply to the poor , electrification , drainage facilities, employability [ skill development of the poor class according to the requirements of society] of the poor, trying to control the habit of drinking of the labor class. Taking data from the poor class ladies as to what are the real sufferings they undergo everyday in the society and in the family and what are the lacunae they feel in running the family.Unless this kind of strategy is adapted , the democracy will be at stake owing to non inclusive so-called development.
Free of everything , for the election point of you will not be appreciated by the succeeding generation and the name and reputation of what being generated in the present scenario will be disgusting to the future generation once reality strikes hard on the face of monumental blunders.
The Ministers may be advised to talk with more caution when they make talks in the public.Even free TVs were collected by the middle class who came to receive using their cars.Besides CM did not show any discrimination in distributing the TVs and being distributed to all the sections of society. May be giving the free TVs to one all is another debatable matter, this local Minister can be restrained to comment on the public who come to receive the same in cars.And one thing is discernible, rather the Minister himself is not for giving something free to one and for all.
I have noticed for the Kalaignar Insurance scheme, so many people came in cars to get the card of Insurance.Well,Govt should certainly think and reconsider whether the upper-middle and rich class need such schemes.
On the other hand Coimbatore corporation is trying to raise the drinking water tax and the deposit for the water tap connection , which if diligently calculated , the poor class and lower middle class are going to pay through the nose.The poor class who live in the low - rented houses , where may be only one connection being used for many families, the rent will be increased by the house owner , so directly all the so-called poor and lower middle class is going to be penalized for no fault of theirs.
Once even Corporation was attempting to collect money for collecting the wastes everyday from the houses thereby wanting to make 30 rupees per month, in addition to collecting house tax etc.
Milk price has been already raised- reason given when everything goes up , milk producers want due rates for the produce. Well, right .
Can we say the poor class children will have the required milk everyday, only option for the lower middle and poor class is reduce the consumption , which is the order of the day in every household for anything and everything.
How badly the lower class is hit by the insensitive schemes may not be addressed by the media, since the poor class is not their target audience.
The graphic detail of the poor class is hit by the spiraling prices of vegetables and the eating habits is comprehensible if you are able to watch the health and growth of the children attending the Municipal, corporation and Panchayath schools.Spend sometime in front of these schools and see the pathetic conditions of these children and the school's convenience inside the buildings.
Long term goal is not distributing free tvs,rice,dhitis, sarries, insurance schemes. What we need to concentrate in case we really are interested in the future generation is improving the schools with facilities, increase or fill up the vacancies of teachers, ameliorating the infrastructure of the Govt Hospitals with medicines,spending money on the drinking water supply to the poor , electrification , drainage facilities, employability [ skill development of the poor class according to the requirements of society] of the poor, trying to control the habit of drinking of the labor class. Taking data from the poor class ladies as to what are the real sufferings they undergo everyday in the society and in the family and what are the lacunae they feel in running the family.Unless this kind of strategy is adapted , the democracy will be at stake owing to non inclusive so-called development.
Free of everything , for the election point of you will not be appreciated by the succeeding generation and the name and reputation of what being generated in the present scenario will be disgusting to the future generation once reality strikes hard on the face of monumental blunders.
Sunday, 3 January 2010
My early days in school
One part of my life was spent in Erode of Tamil Nadu where my father had been transferred by Railways when I was hardly 4 or 5 yrs old and my official admission in school was in Erode only.We moved into a small house which normally employees of those days occupied and we never had any constraints of space in the house.
I was admitted in a nearby school where one of the teachers was a friend of my father.Now I know it was not a great school to boast of , it was typical school where children sat down on the floor, in one corner a black board and old cloth was used as duster and a stick to control the class on the table and a chair.
This school had only classes up to 5th standard and a small play ground with out balls or any playing instruments.We used to play only Khabadi or any game traditional or we on our own invented.
Our house was nearby from school and 2 or 3 minutes walk ,so we did not carry any lunch box to school, at the stroke of the lunch bell we would come to house and finish our lunch and go back with in 30 minutes.
I was in 1st std and my elder brother was in 2nd standard since he is hardly 1 and1/2 yrs older to me.So all my life I had companion for going to school or college- normal joke of my and brother's friends had been I would catch up with my brother in case he failed once in any year which never happened till our graduations.
I remember I was in 2 nd standard and my brother in 3 rd when a school drama was organised , in 60's only historical dramas were written and played in schools and since my brother was the fairest in the school he was selected to act as an Englishman with the costumes of small coat,tie,cap and other paraphernalia , how we managed to get all these things or school arranged the costumes, i dont remember , but fellow schoolmates started calling him 'vellakara...vellakara..'.Then one drama in which he played the role of a grocery shop fellow, in those days telugu speaking chettiars happened to be the grocery shop owners, he was given the role and he had to talk only telugu which he did since our mother tongue being telugu. Costumes I remember,white dhothi worn in a traditional 'panchkatcham' style without any shirt but with a sacred thread.Dialogue was 'uppu lethu,pappu lethu' meaning 'no salt,no dhall' .
I was admitted in a nearby school where one of the teachers was a friend of my father.Now I know it was not a great school to boast of , it was typical school where children sat down on the floor, in one corner a black board and old cloth was used as duster and a stick to control the class on the table and a chair.
This school had only classes up to 5th standard and a small play ground with out balls or any playing instruments.We used to play only Khabadi or any game traditional or we on our own invented.
Our house was nearby from school and 2 or 3 minutes walk ,so we did not carry any lunch box to school, at the stroke of the lunch bell we would come to house and finish our lunch and go back with in 30 minutes.
I was in 1st std and my elder brother was in 2nd standard since he is hardly 1 and1/2 yrs older to me.So all my life I had companion for going to school or college- normal joke of my and brother's friends had been I would catch up with my brother in case he failed once in any year which never happened till our graduations.
I remember I was in 2 nd standard and my brother in 3 rd when a school drama was organised , in 60's only historical dramas were written and played in schools and since my brother was the fairest in the school he was selected to act as an Englishman with the costumes of small coat,tie,cap and other paraphernalia , how we managed to get all these things or school arranged the costumes, i dont remember , but fellow schoolmates started calling him 'vellakara...vellakara..'.Then one drama in which he played the role of a grocery shop fellow, in those days telugu speaking chettiars happened to be the grocery shop owners, he was given the role and he had to talk only telugu which he did since our mother tongue being telugu. Costumes I remember,white dhothi worn in a traditional 'panchkatcham' style without any shirt but with a sacred thread.Dialogue was 'uppu lethu,pappu lethu' meaning 'no salt,no dhall' .
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